Used to Dream of Time Machines

i stopped crying myself to sleep at night.
i don't remember the moment it happened,
because it was somewhere between
a new heartbreak and a new me,
but last night i couldn't press
a wider smile into my pillow.

i didn't forget.
i'd like to meet the soul
who'd try and make me.
but i confess,
that i've stopped feeling guilt
every time hunger rises in my belly.

i'm sorry that i blamed you
for all the crumbling disarray,
for every time i couldn't turn the world over.